Life is fragile

Writing blog is not as easy I thought it would be. You need to have that "feel" , time, nice photos, exciting life in order to write. I always have time but I do not have "feel". Wow..people would think, What???you think you are a writer, must have feel?? Yes. I am not but I need to have feel too. Come on lah!. Pretending to be creative in writing.

It has been sometime that I did not blog. The main issue was I didn't know what to write until today I have some insight and earnestly wanted to jot them down. Few days ago, I experienced some feeling by the name of LOST. Feeling lost is an emotion that everyone has and perhaps might gone through or will be going through soon. The feeling of losing someone isn't as easy as I thought it would be

Being in my field, I always heard the word "Lost and Grief' by attending a few talks and workshops on this particular topic. To be frank, I don't really know the meaning of it. As always, experienced them yourselves is a great way to learn. I witnessed with all my senses, a dedicated mother lost his beautiful daughter. The decease was a wonderful person that will be deeply missed by others around.

Death could be sudden, death could be shocked, death could be happy, death could be sad, death is a mixtures of feelings. Oh DEATH, what really are you? Whether we like it, we will still face it one day. It was a miserable day for me to be able to witness at the same time reminds me on how to carry my life in a purposeful way.

A few days before the incident happened, I attended a talk on how to life live "Awakened Life". As usual and as a normal human being, I tend to just listen and not having much input throughout. It was not because of the speaker but it was ME. On the same week, an accident happened in my University. One of our student lost her life in a car crash. I totally have no idea who the student was. I got really down when I knew about this. To care whether is my own students doesn't matter anymore. I was praying that everyone will be able to go through.

I burst into stronger emotions after it was announced that one of the victim passed away. I went to the hospital to see any if I could helped out for the survived victims. It was my first witnessing enormous accident happened to our students. I couldn't do much but to stand around and stared at the whole incident. You will not be feeling good in this kind of atmosphere. There were many emotions flying around except for the positive ones.

I went to the funeral and to the hospital as well to visit. At the funeral, there were so much of bitterness that her family was going through. It's really painful to looked at. I couldn't do anything about. I really can't but to just hold and hug her mom. After the funeral, it was more painful to see the survived victims. There were struck physically, emotionally and mentally. I couldn't do much as well. What more I can do in this situation?

On the way back, it has given a huge gratitude to me to be able to live every seconds as I wanted to but not forgetting that life is fragile. The incident, the mom's expression and the voice were still on my mind in this few days. I am learning to accept those "voices" that I didn't wanted to hear. Those flashback that I had will fade off of one day. Whatever had happened had happened. Whatever will be happening will be happening.

My life is given by God and I pledge my life to God when I was born. God has His plan and His plan was to proper and not to destroy. All I need to do on earth is to live my life as if I today is the last day of my life. It's easy to say but hard to do. I am learning them day by day. I do not want to waste my life and be prepared.

Living life without regret isn't easy to do. * Melanie you CAN do it*

I always hoping for a better days ahead. Wishing those that I loved, Happy always.